The Make Out Freak Out

I'm not even going to lie about this. I can't watch people make out for real on reality shows. It grosses me out. For some reason I just can't handle the realness that is a true life smooch, my hands always rush to cover my eyes. Maybe it's just too much reality...real people putting everything out on the line. Show me a staged make out anytime. Now if I'm watching a gory horror film and someone's getting their eyes poked out or dismembered I can't close my eyes, I have to watch. Is something wrong with me? Do I need to see a shrink or something? The only time this really ever bothers me is when I watch the Bachelor.

Yes, I'm still all over the Bachelor. I even got mad this week. What the hell is he thinking? Why is Shayne still a contender...If I can see through her and I'm not even there...how can I trust his judgment? He kicked the meeps girl off and stuck with the "actress" and the closed off one. The meeps girl was pissed too. She didn't even want to hear his excuses...go on girl. I thought he should have picked you too.

Now I have to wait 2 weeks for this shit. Why can't someone ruin the ending for me so I can find out if he's a total moron or not. Someone out there must know an ABC flunkie who knows the truth. The camera operator would know. Who did the lighting design...surely they know too. Hit me up with the deets folks...14 days is too long to wait. I have other shows to worry my pretty little head about.

Ewan on Craig

Ewan landed on Craig Ferguson last night and it was a treat watching the two Scots entertain each other. Firecrackers in asses were mentioned and after the interview, Ewan came back and did a bit that was hysterical. Too funny man, too funny. I'll share a secret with you. Mind you it's not much of a secret since two friends have seen it but still, not a lot of people know. I have a tape full of the funniest things I've seen on TV. Every time something makes me laugh really hard once and still makes me laugh just as hard the second time around, it makes the tape. I call this tape "that's some funny shit." I'm actually on my second tape, the rules were a little loose the first time around so the first tape isn't quite as funny as the second. I've only watched half of the first one, and realized some things just aren't as funny out of context. This is why the second tape is funnier than the first...practice. There, I've said it I've shared a secret...your turn.

Chimp-tastic

For some reason this evening while I was watching Dancing with the Stars I started to think about some old TV shows I used to watch. I've done this in the past and found some good stuff but this time I think I hit the mother load. I used to watch this show on Nickelodeon back in the day. There were two monkeys that solved crime and it took place in the 70s that's what I remember. This show came on before I was born but for some reason today I kept thinking about monkey detectives. Unfortunately after searching for monkey detectives for awhile I couldn't find what I was looking for. Then I checked for chimp detectives and BOOM! I found it. Lancelot Link - Secret Chimp. He wasn't a monkey he was a chimp...and that makes all the difference. Thanks to the awesomeness that is the internet and youtube everyone can find all of their childhood favorites. There's even DVDs out there and a bunch of people just like me who adored this wacky show. One day when I get around to it I'm going to buy these DVDs and share the magic with my friends. Everyone should know and love Lancelot Link. It's the bestest.

Little Humphrey Moves On Up

Since I've been away and haven't had a DVR with hundreds of saved shows on it I've been watching my tape of Gossip Girl all week. Over and over again...I never understood why people watched shows repeatedly but I think I get it now. Perhaps it was just an unusually good episode or maybe I was just starved for some GG. Either way I had a blast watching it and wonder if anyone else out there loves it just as much as I do. I've heard that a good portion of the fanbase for the show is actually people my age and older. I would never give out my age out but suffice it say that I'm over 10. Barely. Anyway, GG came back with a bang. I had forgotten just how much I truly loved GG while I was watching it last fall. I have the entire season so far on tape and promised a friend (whom we'll call Jack) that we would watch it from the beginning together. It hasn't happened yet but we will very soon. There's nothing like sharing something you love with a friend.

We find ourselves thrust back into the upper crust of the upper east side this week and are reminded that Blair is still recovering from the nasty gossip that spread just before spring break. Serena is now living with chuck and his father, hating every minute of it. Little Humphrey is no longer running errands for B, she managed to snag a spot on the A-list and seems to have fit right in as a member. Lonely boy is still the same, a little regularity never hurt anyone.

What I have noticed in this episode and never really paid attention to before is the wooden acting of one Mr. Crawford. His leaden line readings this week really shocked me. I must have been paying too much attention to his hair before. It's hot hair, I'm not even going to lie. You love it admit it. If you'll refer back to the scene where Nate comes to S and LB and informs them about LH's little problem. Tell me he didn't sound like a mummy that was forced to act. Seriously, being hot gets you places.

LH was so on her A game this week and managed to beat B by the end of the episode. The scene at the end when she brings Nate to Butter to have him flirt with a "friend" was genius. LH is truly on her way to ice queen status. The only thing standing in her way is a little thing called money.

As I am always waiting with bated breath every week for the Bachelor to come back on, so too am I with GG.

You know you love me....TV-OB.

Not Even Close

There was no bottom three this week just the bottom two. Brooke was safe and I can guess and say if there were a bottom three she would have been in it. What am I going to do now. This means I'm going to have to listen to her sing again next week. I guess I could always just mute the TV when she comes on. It's an option but not what I really wanted, I wanted her gone. If only I weren't on vacay I would have had the opportunity to call in and vote for my favorites. Maybe my 10 calls would have put Carly over the edge and kept her in the competition. I'm curious to know who in their right mind would even vote for Brooke...I can't even fathom a good answer. She forgot the lyrics and had to start over. If this were Hollywood week she'd be out.

The idols got together at the beginning and sang a song from Phantom and bored me to tears. Bleech. Why can't they sing another Rihanna song? Hell, I'll even take them singing please don't stop the music again. That's my jam right now. Every time I hear it I want to shake my ass. So good. But no, we get another song from ALW and my heart starts to beat slower every note they sing. That it didn't stop altogether is only because halfway through I decided to stop the madness and fast forward through my tape. I switched VCR's tonight and all is better now.

Here's my wish for next week. That a double elimination occurs and Brooke is carted away with Archulets. He bores me and I want him gone too. I maybe the only person in the country who feels this way but I'm used to being the odd man out so it doesn't bother me one bit. I never get what I want so I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that Syesha will get cut and that I come back on here and bitch about the voters getting it wrong AGAIN.

I'd mention the awful Ford video and them butchering Tainted Love but I'd be here for another hour and I just don't have the time for that.

Bachelor oh Bachelor

Why did he have to cut my favorite girl? It's probably because he knew her the least and the other three were pulling out all the stops. It was hometown week and Shayne had her famous dad, Chelsea, I have no idea what she did and Amanda produced fake parents. I love the hometown visits because usually there's one crazy household and someones brother or sister really grills the bachelor. That didn't happen so much this time. I wonder if it was really that much tamer this year or I'm just imagining it being that much more over the top in the past. Either way the episode did entertain me.

Let's start with Shayne who had her father come and meet our bachelor Matt and their exchange seemed to go well. Shayne's parents were divorced so after Matt me her dad he met her mom. Damn. I've heard that you should meet your in-laws so you can see what your spouse will look like in the future. If Shayne's mom is any indication of what she'll look like 20/30 odd years from now God help us all. Her mom looks scary as hell. Plastic surgery is an addiction and I'm starting to think it should be up there with gambling and boozing. This woman was so overdone and stretched and leopard printed out. I know you're supposed to love your parents unconditionally but if my mother went out and did that to herself I would say no more or I disown you!

Chelsea really didn't leave that much of an impression on me but apparently left a big enough one on Matt to get another rose. Noelle my personal favorite was perfect and loving and caring and everything a good bachelorette should be and the beyotch cut her! I'd almost say I don't want to watch anymore but that would be a total lie. I will so be seeing this through to the end.

Amanda our last bachelorette, the one with the hiccups get extra points this week. She had the idea to introduce Matt to a fake set of parents, a couple of actors. the entire time I was thinking that it wouldn't end well but our bachelor dug it. He actually enjoyed having a prank played on him and took the ribbing well. I was hoping he would hate it so my fave Noelle would squeak through but no. He loved it and ended up giving her a rose. You can't win them all I guess. Perhaps next season I'll have better luck picking my favorite. Until next week...I believe the bachelor is going to the tropics with his lady loves...ooohh, is it overnight week already?

Warbling

I don't think I've mentioned it yet but this week I'm on vacay in California. It's hard keeping track of all the shows when I'm away from my trusty DVR but a girl does what she can. I've been taping the shows the old school way on a VCR and let me tell you as much as I love a VCR it's definitely not a DVR. Idol was videotaped tonight and I watched it when I came home and I must have taped it on a dirty VCR because even after tracking the tape forever I still can just barely make the faces out and the kids are all warbling. They all sounded bad to me. That's probably not the case but it's all I heard.

Brooke forgot her words, Jason sounds like a wet rag and I'm so over Archulets. Really, I'm over him can we just move on now? I've already mentioned before that Brooke is driving me batty but she really did bother me tonight...I can't even look at her anymore. America do me a favor and kick her behind out the door. I'll let her go on the tour and sing her nice songs with her nice guitar but I won't be there watching and I'll no longer have to pay attention to her...enough is enough.

This weeks songs were from the library of Andrew Lloyd Webber. It wasn't a total disaster, there were some highlights. Syesha was very good and seemed to be enjoying herself. Carly changed her song at Mr. Webber's suggestion and it probably saved her from getting cut this week. My other top choice would have to be David Cook but he sang last and I'd just about had it with the poor quality so I must confess I was only half-listening. Shame on me.

It's getting so much harder to pick the bottom three because it's getting so much closer to the end. I'm just going to assume that my choices for the lowest vote getters will be wrong but there's no harm in guessing right? Brooke, Jason and Syesha. That's my bottom three and I won't change it. Brooke better be going home though. I don't want to get started on her again so I'll just leave it at that. It was nice knowing you B.

Oscar Meyer Wiener Lover

OMG! I love Jim and Pam. They are so adorable together, really how cute are they? I squealed in delight when Jim showed the ring he bought for her. I am such a girl sometimes, okay all the time. Why am I so over the moon about the two of them? Probably because they seem so real...plus he's hot. A super duper hot piece. Mmmm....yummy.

Anyway, it was a great episode, it had plenty of funny moments. When Michael was going around the office trying to find someone who had a potential mate for him he stopped with Oscar and said "hello Oscar Meyer Wiener...Lover. Fantastic. It kind of reminds me when Jack from Will & Grace would yell a celebrity name, my favorite being UMA THURMAN HAWKE! Occasionally I would like to scream this out myself but unfortunately I would be the only one in on the joke. My references are so random and crazy sometimes that even I believe I'm nuts.

While I love the show I find it uncomfortable to watch sometimes. Back last year when they were making extended episodes I thought I was going to claw my eyes out around 32 minutes in. It was awkward moment after awkward moment and Steve Carell is so good at making Michael a believable dimwit. It makes me squirm in my seat. I want to just reach inside the TV screen and shake him. But that's never going to happen though, apparently these people aren't real they're just made up. Jim and Pam are in love on screen but not in real life. Sometimes it's just so hard separating reality from fiction. It makes it so difficult when I'm watching the Bachelor...is it real or fake?

Bits and Pieces

One of my old hot pieces was on Leno last night. Ah Ewan McGregor, he's so hot. There's really nothing else to add to this. I just needed an excuse to post a picture of him. It was super fun looking for the picture too. Nothing new really got discussed except for his new movie which I'll go see regardless of what it's about. I've got to find a better reason to watch things because I'm starting to feel a bit like people are going to judge me for being so damn shallow. I just can't help myself. A hot piece will get me to watch...every time.

Bday Party

I won't be able to post tonight, I must away to a friend's birthday party. In my stead I leave you a clip from the Golden Girls. Enjoy!

2 out of 3 isn't bad

YAY!!!...I picked the wrong one but I'm still a winner. Hell, we're all winners this week. The Cook Girl is gone. I'm going to miss calling her the Cook girl but I have a feeling I'm going to get over that real fast. No more wishing or hoping each week that she'll get cut...what will I do with myself? Perhaps I'll just have to focus all of my energy towards Brooke and getting her Carol King sounding behind out of the running. She's so boring now, I doubt anything she could do at this point could change my mind. I'd vote for Jason over her and he's just a pitiful boy with very little to offer. It makes me wonder where this competition is even going. Is Archulets (my new nickname for him) going to coast through until the end...will the other David keep reinventing songs and just be a cover king for the rest of his life? Do we really need another torch singer like Syesha? This just leaves us with Carly and maybe that's a good thing...she's talented, a little bit edgy (tattoos=edgy) and Simon even admitted tonight that he's tough on her because he thinks she could make it. She won't make it to the end. One of the guys is going to win this year...that's my prediction for 5 weeks from now. Am I digging myself in a hole making that kind of statement already...whatevs. I'm going to make it and stick with it, you know, show a little gumption. I just said gumption...how old am I?

My Bottom 3

I choose Brooke, the Cook girl and Carly. Carly started out the season with a bang and now she comes across as though she's trying way too hard. I've fallen out of love with her. The Cook girl...I believe we've already been there, no need to rehash old feelings. Now on to Brooke...I always thought she was kind of like a wet rag that just needed to be wrung out and hung up to dry. And then get all crusty sitting in the sunlight. I was over her when she first came onscreen. No R-rated movies ever? Good-bye! Syesha narrowly missed my bottom 3 but only because she sang a song I loved and I believe she sang it well. I even voted for her...numerous times. The boys are coming back, I doubt any of them will even make it to the bottom three. David A. has the little girls (and boys) Jason has all the teen girls (and boys) and David C. has the sympathy vote plus I think he had the best performance of the night. I would have voted for him but Syesha probably needed my support just a little more. My prediction...Brooke leaves us and gives my ears a break forever...scratchy voice at a piano can only go so far...let's cut her off and sit her down in front of Last Tango in Paris...that'll change her life.

I Should be Ashamed...

But I'm not! I've been watching this season of the Bachelor with such joy in my heart. Should I be embarrassed to admit I love this show...you may think so but it's not going to stop me. Previous seasons of the Bachelor have caught my attention and I've watched them but I don't think any of them have captured my heart like this one. I find myself wishing the next week to come sooner so I can watch the next episode immediately. It could be this crop of girls or the fact that they finally picked a bachelor that isn't a total douche bag. Maybe it's his British accent that keeps me coming back. An accent will bring me back anytime. Trust.

For those of you that have been watching...I know there has to be at least one of you out there, I think he kicked off the right girls. Since the very beginning I chose Noelle as my favorite. She was the most down to earth of them all and actually came across as though she had some brains. The rest of them not so much. What was up with the Jewel clone that he finally kicked to the curb last week? Did she just graduate high school or something? Her songs sucked and she just whined and complained all the time...sounds a little like Shayne doesn't it? I can't wait to see what Lorenzo Lamas has in store for our bachelor next week...perhaps a tour of Renegade memorabilia in the basement?

Hometown dates are usually pretty entertaining and from the looks of the previews this season's don't look like they'll disappoint. There's always the cynical father who doesn't understand why anyone would choose to pick a wife this way but if they had the chance when they were younger they would have jumped at it. Who wouldn't want 25 half wits to play around and pretend to fall in love with. That strikes me as something I would do if the opportunity presented itself. Why not? Stay tuned, the best is yet to come.

Snap and Shake

I nearly choked on my dinner tonight. I sat down with my food turned on Samantha Who? and about a minute in one of my old hot pieces walked onscreen. Timothy Olyphant has been on my radar for about 10 years now and holy hell. This almost makes up for my Idol hot piece getting voted off last week. I've watched so many bad movies just because he was in them. Gone in 60 Seconds, Dreamcatcher, Catch and Release...okay I watched that one for J. Garner too. Let's not even get me started on Hitman. I thought that movie looked like crap until I realized that he was the lead. That movie blew too, but damn if he didn't look good for the 90 minutes I sat in my seat. I doubt his character will be a recurring one but at least he came on TV again and I didn't have to watch a rerun of Deadwood to see him. I'm going to go ahead and keep my fingers crossed in the hopes that he will come back on the show, even if it isn't next week. I can't even imagine how much fun it would it be to nearly choke on my dinner next week too.

The Bitches are Back...Kind of

It was a sad couple of days on Wisteria Lane this week. Before the strike the show was on a roll and maybe if there hadn't been a break in the episodes this one wouldn't have seemed so empty. It just came off like a tired retread of what I've already seen and I truly expected the show to come back with a bang. What the hell happened? Marc and the gang really let me down, the twister two-parter that we ended on was great. Lots of drama and crazy goings-on and now they give me poo. How dull was it that we find out Katherine Mayfair had a fling with Susan's cousin...extremely. We all knew Katherine was a killer didn't we? Self-defense...blah blah blah. It was touching that Lynette went to Bree for spiritual guidance but it seemed a bit tame for the ladies.

I love the housewives but how many murders/deaths/crazy bitches can 1 block have? We get a new neighbor and she's killed someone? Why can't she be a graceful, caring woman of the world? Granted it would be a very dull block if people weren't locked up in basements and women didn't off themselves in their kitchens. I'm complaining about them being so subdued and then I bitch about them being so cracked. You can't please me I'll let you know that now. I say I want it blue and then I demand red. I will be such a bridezilla, I can see it now.

I grew up in the suburbs (granted it was breezy California and not bitchy whatever state they're in) and I never saw shit like this go down. I was a child though and children can be aloof to such nuttiness. Maybe my cul-de-sac was full of hedonistic behavior and suicidal housewives. I don't know, now that I'm an adult I have found out something about my block that I didn't know before. My next door neighbors Ray and George were a couple. It never occurred to me when I was younger but in hindsight I guess it was obvious. Look, I lived a sheltered life and never paid attention to anything but my pool and my Barbie's. Does that make me shallow? Probably and I'm not ashamed to say it either.

I'm Ashton Kutcher. I'm Awesome!

This was definitely one of the best if not the best episodes of the season. It was definitely the most consistent one. The first sketch after the monologue, "The Cougar Den" was stupendous. But really nothing can outshine Dusty Velvet the paralyzed stripper. Crap that was funny. The best line of the night though was, "a pedophile, a pedophile, that's a pretty big word for a ten year-old." Although I'm not so sure it's quite as funny out of context.

I've been a fan of SNL since I was a little kid. My parents would let me stay up late on Saturday nights and watch the first half hour and then send me to bed. They always said I had to shove off at midnight because after 12 all the mature sketches came on. I never complained because if you complained you wouldn't get to watch at all and the following week you'd be in bed with no sketches. So 30 minutes was enough for me. The sketch I remember most fondly is Phillip the Hyper-Hypo.

Mike Myers as Philip The Hyper-Hypo Kid | Funny Jokes at JibJab

Being a fan of a show like this you go through the good and the bad. Sometimes a show just wouldn't work at all and sometimes you'd get magic. The episode that Ian McKellen hosted back in 2002 is a great example of everything coming together. I believe I'll remember this one with the same fondness.

MILF Island

Holy Shit. 30 Rock was hysterical and I am so happy new episodes are back on the air. I actually had to pause the show because I was laughing so hard. I'm surprised my neighbors didn't call the cops I was so loud. Alec Baldwin makes my heart sing. It's the subtle nuances in his line readings that take something that would be funny in anyone else's mouth and takes it to a whole other level. I love to laugh and occasionally when something is funny beyond belief I snort. It happens from time to time, people make fun of me for it but I refuse to hold it in. Thank goodness I watched 30 Rock alone last night.

For the first episode back after the strike I truly believe they outdid themselves. The show is always funny and even without an abundance of Tracy Morgan in the episode whom I find funniest of all it was amazing. Their parody of reality shows with Milf Island is so near where reality programming is going right now. Paradise Hotel 2 is currently on the air and I did watch the first season 5 years ago. Without even watching an episode of this season I know it's batshit crazy. Which is probably what Milf Island would be if it were real. Admit it, you would watch if they put it on the air next week out of sheer morbid curiosity. I wouldn't blame you, I'd be tuned in too.

My Hot Piece is Gone!

Why God why ?!? What have I done to deserve this? Idol was a complete mess last night. The entire bottom three was MY top three. Okay, so Syesha is just another one of the balladeers and to be honest ballads make me want to vomit but I liked her. I will admit that David Cook kind of interests me. I thought his cover of the Chris Cornell version of Billie Jean was pretty good. But seriously, my hot piece is gone and so is a little bit of my soul.

I'm not sure I even want to write anymore because I'm so upset. Okay, it's not that serious and really I'm only upset because now I have to watch with no hot piece to stare at. Jason Castro doesn't really do it for me and I'm constantly wondering what he would look like without the dreads. A friend of mine, let's refer to her as Susan from now on, said he'd be nothing without his hair. She's right. Take away the hair and he's just another kid with a guitar looking at you with puppy dog eyes. David Archuleta is a cute kid but I believe thinking about him in this way is a crime so let's move on. Finally we have David Cook who up until recently had a hideous haircut and even with the recent chop doesn't fan the flames of my desires. What's a girl to do?

Wire Watch

I'm a huge fan of The Wire. It all began 6 years ago when I saw the ads for the show and noticed that Dominic West (Brit hotness) was starring. This is a theme, I see a guy I think is hot on TV, at the movies or wherever and I watch. I can't be the only one. Anyway, I see that he's starring on the show and I tune in. One of the greatest shows ever. Lots of people can say they love the show but not many have been there from the beginning. It was like pulling teeth trying to get friends to watch. One caved in 3 years ago and another just a few months ago. Both were hooked and tragically now it's over.

I've noticed over the past year that a large chunk of the cast have been hired out as bit players on numerous television shows. So I've decided to start a Wire Watch. I watch a hell of a lot of television but obviously I can't catch them all, so if you see any I've missed please give me a heads up. On Monday nights episode of New Amsterdam not one but TWO Wire graduates were on and even had a chance to share some screen time. Check out all of their chemistry below. PS...if you've decided to take a chance on the show and haven't seen the episode yet I suggest you skip the video.

A Good Reason To Watch

A few years ago I walked into the film Wimbledon expecting a halfway decent romantic comedy. I love Paul Bettany and he's reason enough for me to watch something so I went. The movie blew but there was one reason I left smiling. This guy. He came onscreen and I was like who's the hot guy in the locker room? Of course some other hot guy grabbed my attention and since I'm shallow I forgot about him. Until now.

The hotness is all over my Monday night on Fox. A little while ago I got hooked on that Terminator show and there were previews for New Amsterdam playing. I light went on inside my head...is the hotness back I wondered. Not only is he back but he's the lead this time! No more standing behind the star muttering crappy lines. He is the star muttering crappy lines. The show isn't great but I'm hooked. It's your run of the mill crime procedural mixed in with a little whimsy. He's an immortal guy living in New York...solving crime...where is his cape, I don't know. Nor do I care. He's a romantic homicide detective intent on finding his true love so he can become mortal again...for some reason this is right up my alley, I can't help loving this show. Watch it please, someone so it won't get cancelled and hope of hopes Fox will bring it back in the fall.

UPDATE!

After wondering what Nikki McKibbin has been doing these past couple of years I finally succumbed and googled her. Ah, Googling people, I could do it all day. I suggest you all google yourself right after you're done here. Is googling even in the dictionary? Whatevs, back to the Kibbin lady. Here's what I remember about her before I googled her: She had a kid, some red hair and used to sing at a dive bar karaoke style or something like that. What I learned after...nothing I care to share here...kidding! The Kibs has a record coming out soon and as you can see from her promo photo here is totally hardcore. Sign of the beast and all that crap that goes with it. If you too would like to waste 10 minutes please feel free to mosey on over to www.nikkimckibbin.com, but not before you google yourself. It'll be a revelation, I swear.

Put it out of it's misery

My first instincts were right, it's bad. I gave it another shot, I did. Promise. After watching the last two episodes of the season last night and wasting an hour of my time I could not find a reason to extend the life of this show. It's still not funny, surprisingly awkward for the wrong reasons and a total pain to watch. I felt my sense of humor leaving my body while I was watching it. I could ask what can be done to fix this mess but honestly I don't think it can be saved. Even writing about this is driving me nuts. Enough! No More! Let me save me from myself. I'm out.

Bye Bye!

It was time for her to go. The Cook girl needs to go too but I think I understand why she's still there. If there are guys out there watching this show (on purpose or by force) and they are voting they must be voting for the same reason I'm voting for the Aussie. To keep the hot piece on the air. Otherwise what's the point in watching? That's right, there would be no other reason. Every week half of the contestants sign horrible versions of popular songs and 20 odd million people tune in. I'm not going to lie, I watch the show too. I've watched the show since it's inception. It all started during the summer of 2002. I was fresh from graduating college in a dead end summer job and american idol was like a huge gush of fresh air. Kelly Clarkson was my idol and my summer sucked just a little less than it should have.

But really, Ramiele didn't have a chance. The Cook girl was in the bottom three again and Brooke made her first appearance, I doubt it will be her last. Usually when someone finds out it's the end of their run they accept it, watch their goodbye package and reminisce about their "journey" on idol. After watching Ramiele break down I really think she may have thought she had a chance. Maybe she had her fingers crossed that the Cook girl would finally be booted off, no such luck. Let's look on the bright side of things, at least she gets to go on tour with the top 10 and then fade off into obscurity.

Greek Life

I love ABC Family. I love Greek. They cancelled Beautiful Girls a few seasons ago and I loved that show too. It was dumb as hell but let me tell you now what you'll figure out soon enough. I love dumb shit. But you hated Miss Guided you say. I did hate that show but that wasn't the kind of dumb I love. Neither Greek nor Beautiful Girls was trying to be funny. I hate dumb funny. See: Unhitched.

Greek is like a sunny version of well, Animal House? A cleaned up Belushi-less Animal House of course. The kind of sorority and fraternity life that Barbie would belong to if she were real and anatomically correct. Correction, just real. I love it, and I love Barbie. I love Barbie so much I went to the state speech and debate tournament in high school with a speech on Barbie's origins. I did pretty well too. I digress, back to the greatest show on Monday night that isn't Two and a half men. I do love the dumb, but I hate the stupid. 2.5 men is stupid and I have a "friend" who thinks it's funny. You know who you are. Watch Greek. It's Gilmore's Creek without the self-aware characters that get in the way of the fun.